回避型依戀療癒｜其實很在意，也不想推開對方，但卻過分緊張害怕，甚至無法控制

　　回避型依戀療癒｜其實很在意，也不想推開對方，但卻過分緊張害怕，甚至無法控制

　　相信在很多人的心裡，接近自己喜歡的人並不是一件輕鬆和幸福的事，相反，似乎是一件害怕和非常緊張的事，甚至有時候，這種害怕和緊張的程度達到了讓我們無法面對的程度，於是只能通過遠離來緩解。

　　但這樣就造成了一部分人在建立親密關係上存在障礙，甚至無法和人建立真正親密的關係，心理學專用術語是「回避型依戀」。

　　其實很在意，其實不想推開，但卻過分緊張害怕，甚至無法控制。

　　為什麼會這樣？

　　原因一、過去創傷：

　　沒有被愛過的人，遇見愛會恐慌不安

　　沒有得到足夠關愛的童年會很大程度影響最初的心理安全感——認為自己足夠好，值得無條件的被愛和被喜歡的感覺。

　　他們會容易不敢親密，老是害怕被嫌棄、拋棄。

　　積攢的不安全感又日益加重這樣的自我認知：「我是不夠好的，我不值得愛。」

　　他們學會了壓抑自己對愛的渴望、不被給予愛的憤怒，學會了隔離和壓抑自己的感情。

　　他們逐漸接納了這個現實：「麵包不屬於我，我是注定得不到麵包的。」

　　甚至有的人會發展出：這件東西太痛苦了，我再也不想要了，這樣絕望的憤怒。

　　那個麵包就是愛，害怕接近正是對「渴望」的防禦。

　　原因二、負面意識

　　1、認為自己不夠好，沒有人會喜歡真實的自己，自己不配被愛，因此也害怕被接近。

　　2、認為完美才會得到愛，真實不會得到愛。

　　沒有獲得過真正的對於自己真實一面的愛和欣賞，會以為一個人要做到完美才值得被愛，但又明白自己不可能是完美的，那唯一能保持愛的方式便是——保持距離。

　　這種心結還容易在互動中被投射到對方身上——一旦靠近對方，似乎就能發現對方的不完美，愛的對象會破碎幻滅，無法接受。

　　原因三、靈性原因

　　例如前世、課題、業力等影響，並且這個雪球往往越滾越大，一個負面的點積累了越來越多的負面能量。

　　整理回避型人格的不同表現，大概有：

　　1、親密恐懼（包含身心）

　　2、總會壓抑否認自己對親密關係的需求

　　3、「花花公子」（一旦關係要確認或穩定，就忍不住馬上抽離，有的人甚至會不斷借新的關係以慰藉）

　　4、喜歡那些不可能交往的人，因為不會真正接近。

　　其實，每個人對愛和依戀的需求，都是十分正常且必要的。有時候我們只是無法把自己的愛傳遞給對方，也無法從他人那裡接受到愛。

　　恐懼的能量，會讓你冥冥中拒絕掉美好人事物的接近，吸引來錯誤的感情。

　　項目介紹：針對類似情況的人，清理療癒導致情況的因素，並帶來最光亮美滿的愛的能量，接受高層次意識的指引。

　　Treatment for avoidant attachment|In fact,you care a lot and don’t want to push the other person away,but you are too nervous and afraid,and even unable to control yourself

　　I believe that in many people's minds,getting close to the person they like is not an easy and happy thing.On the contrary,it seems to be a scary and very nervous thing.Sometimes,the degree of fear and nervousness reaches a level that we cannot face,so we can only relieve it by staying away from them.

　　However,this causes some people to have obstacles in establishing intimate relationships,and they are even unable to establish truly intimate relationships with others.The special term in psychology is"avoidant attachment."

　　In fact,I care a lot and don’t want to push him away,but I am too nervous and scared,and even unable to control myself.

　　Why is this happening?

　　Reason 1:Past trauma:

　　People who have never been loved will panic and feel uneasy when they encounter love

　　A childhood without enough love and affection can greatly affect one's initial sense of psychological security-the feeling that one is good enough and deserves to be loved and liked unconditionally.

　　They tend to be afraid of intimacy and are always afraid of being rejected or abandoned.

　　The accumulated insecurity further exacerbates the self-perception that“I am not good enough and I am not worthy of love.”

　　They learned to suppress their desire for love and their anger at not being loved,and they learned to isolate and suppress their emotions.

　　They gradually accepted this reality:"The bread does not belong to me,and I am destined not to have bread."

　　Some people even develop a desperate anger where they think:This thing is so painful,I don’t want it anymore.

　　That bread is love,and the fear of approaching is a defense against desire.

　　Reason 2:Negative consciousness

　　1.Think that you are not good enough,no one will like the real you,you are not worthy of being loved,and therefore you are afraid of being approached.

　　2.You believe that only perfection can earn you love,but truthfulness will not.

　　If you have never received true love and appreciation for your true self,you will think that a person has to be perfect to be worthy of love,but you also know that you cannot be perfect,so the only way to maintain love is to keep your distance.

　　This kind of knot can easily be projected onto the other person during interaction-once you get close to the other person,you seem to be able to discover the other person's imperfections,and the object of love will be shattered,disillusioned,and unable to accept it.

　　Reason 3:Spiritual reasons

　　For example,influences from past lives,lessons,karma,etc.,and this snowball tends to get bigger and bigger,and a negative point accumulates more and more negative energy.

　　The different manifestations of avoidant personality are roughly as follows:

　　1.Fear of intimacy(physical and mental)

　　2.Always suppress and deny your need for intimacy

　　3."Playboy"(Once a relationship is about to be confirmed or stabilized,they can't help but withdraw immediately.Some people even keep finding new relationships for comfort)

　　4.Liking people who are impossible to date because you can never really get close to them.

　　In fact,everyone's need for love and attachment is very normal and necessary.Sometimes we just can't give or receive love from others.

　　The energy of fear will make you unconsciously reject the approach of beautiful people and things and attract the wrong feelings.

　　Project introduction:For people with similar situations,we will clean and heal the factors that cause the situation,bring in the brightest and most perfect energy of love,and accept the guidance of higher-level consciousness.